turma fart - (n) - a pun whose sole saving grace is that it relies on professional jargon, greatly limiting the number of people who groan at it
Example:
Anne's high school has a huge spring dance for juniors and seniors every year that most impartial observers would agree is the best in the state. Her school's principal, a family friend, makes a personal vow to Anne that Anne's senior dance will be the best the school has ever held. Believing this promise, Anne purchases a very expensive dress and induces her boyfriend to hire a limousine to transport them to and from the event. On the night of the dance, however, she arrives at the school gym with her date to find only a few card tables set up in a corner with cans of generic diet cola and plates of saltine crackers, and a handful of couples swaying desultorily to elevator music piped over the school's intercom.
Distraught and in tears, Anne flees outside, intent on returning home. There is a steep grassy embankment next to the area where the limousine is parked, and Anne slips and falls, staining and tearing her expensive dress, and gouging a large scratch in the limousine's door with her shoe.
Does Anne have a case on the grounds of prom-is-sorry ass topple?
One Law Student's Quest For Love In A World Gone Mad
(Because I'm not a technical writer anymore.)
- The phrase I'm coining today
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Ha!
The great thing is that I learned what promissory estoppel is just this past weekend, and I'm just a normal person. So, your turma fartitude is slightly thwarted. :P
The great thing is that I learned what promissory estoppel is just this past weekend, and I'm just a normal person. So, your turma fartitude is slightly thwarted. :P
do0d, I had to wade outside my wonderfully jargon-filled tech-no-riffic lexicon and into the thorny thicket of legalese and figure out what that last word was.
"Estoppel"?
Ouch! My brain! What did you do to it? I think I now understand why I didn't get into law: every frickin' term is a mental hyperlink, requiring a buttload of study and memorization, and a system that is inherently irrational in construction. It makes Windows look like Legos.
Ow, ow, ow. I am going to go groaning away now.
"Estoppel"?
Ouch! My brain! What did you do to it? I think I now understand why I didn't get into law: every frickin' term is a mental hyperlink, requiring a buttload of study and memorization, and a system that is inherently irrational in construction. It makes Windows look like Legos.
Ow, ow, ow. I am going to go groaning away now.
A parent was having trouble because his toddler was incessantly articulating vowels, with clear demarcations between them. He called a family friend, who happened to be a child psychologist. The friend spoke to the boy, and after some time spoke to the father: "He agreed to make this his last day. After that, he promises never to do it again. I hope you're not too annoyed."
"Annoyed?" said the father. "My only other option was to give him a serious spanking, so let me tell you, I'm betting he'll be glad he'll stop."
Edited at 2008-06-18 02:01 pm (UTC)
"Annoyed?" said the father. "My only other option was to give him a serious spanking, so let me tell you, I'm betting he'll be glad he'll stop."
Edited at 2008-06-18 02:01 pm (UTC)
Two men are traveling by backpack through the German countryside when they happen upon a plate of food with a sign next to it: "GIFT."
One of the men hungrily eats it, then falls over dead.
The other one says, "Oh well, I guess you really can't live on the present."
One of the men hungrily eats it, then falls over dead.
The other one says, "Oh well, I guess you really can't live on the present."
So there was this zookeeper who was caring for these ancient dolphins. The secret to their long life, it seemed, was that they would only eat a certain kind of sea bird. So every month, the zookeeper had to drive to a state park filled with all kinds of exotic animals where he’d pick up the food. One night he was driving back late and ran over a big cat. He was arrested for violating the Mann Act: transporting gulls across state lions for immortal porpoises.
And my favorite:
There was a young lawyer named Rex
Who had very small organs of sex.
When pressed for exposure
He said with composure,
"De minimis non curat lex."
And my favorite:
There was a young lawyer named Rex
Who had very small organs of sex.
When pressed for exposure
He said with composure,
"De minimis non curat lex."
2008-06-18 01:13 pm (UTC)